It’s me.  The crazy llama lady.  Here’s the story of the llama kamas:

I have an iPhone, and it’s notorious for correcting my spelling, because…being an Apple product…it thinks it’s smarter than me. That very well may be true – because if I truly was a higher-functioning being, I would turn off the auto-spell check, and rely upon my own intelligence to get things typed out right, but that would be too easy.

I have a hobby – taekwondo. I practice Songahm Taekwondo, with a school affiliated with the American Taekwondo Association. If I’m not working, or sleeping, or reading…I’m thinking about TKD. Doesn’t mean I’m actually participating – just thinking. Or, if you ask my husband – talking about it.

So one day, it occurred to me that I needed to be thinking about scheduling out my mid-terms as a 2nd degree, as I hadn’t done any yet. Each midterm is designed to test something specific, and it can vary. For the kids, it’s usually form and sparring at all, and a select weapon…er, training gear…at others. Because I randomly teach at the school, I want to become familiar with all the training gear available to my rank, and that would include double sshang joel bhang (DSJB, or nunchuks), double bhang mah ee (DBME, or sticks), and sshang nats (kamas). Since we midterm every three months, and I could be up for a rank test within a year, I needed to get on the ball about what I was going to test when. And I wanted to schedule a test at “the big show” – Worlds 2009, just for the experience of it, because testing in front of an international panel is a little…intimidating.

To ask about the scheduling, I texted my instructor – from the ever-so-smart iPhone, and here’s how it went…

Me: am I midtermined in December? My plan is march for dsjb, worlds for form and breaks, September for dmbe and December for rank.

Answer: Works for me

Me: do I need an additional one for lamas? (and the expected dismal showing at worlds?)

Answer: how will you use lamas as weapons. They’re kinda big

Me: It would be impressive though, right? Swinging lamas around

Answer: Dodge the spit

Me: If we used alcapas we could sell the sweaters after.

Me: im buying a keyboard fir this phone…after I get your hradphones .

And little did I know – this was only the beginning.

Quite a bit later – months, even, I went to instructor camp and certified. The following week or so, we had a belt ceremony after testing, and my instructor pulls out this…box…from a friend at our other location. After reading the note outloud to the school, I open the box:

“Dear Chelle,

Congratulations on achieving your certification. I understand that you are looking to learn a new weapon – I hope your instructor knows the form!”

And this is what I found:


So now they travel with me to tournaments, generally in my gear bag, although lately I’ve had to courage to stick them in my belt and use them to make Tiny Tigers laugh. I’ve been told I need to compete with them (but am so not going there, and yes, that makes me a sissy, but that’s okay).

That was written in 2009, but I believe I certified in 2006.  So it’s been a while.  They have actually been given names – Douglas and Tina.  And for a while they had a karate uniform (but Tina lost her pants.  Or maybe that’s Douglas).  They’ve been signed by Grand Master, and a few other masters along the way (Master Goins and Chief Master Allemier).  But over time, they’ve become a little … notorious.  On Facebook, friends will see a picture of a llama and tag me.  I have quite a few stuffed llamas given to me over the years.  Remember when the two llamas got loose in Arizona?  No less than 5 people tagged me in the video.  We see llamas when we’re driving – everyone in the car points them out.  And I LOVE IT!

So that’s the story of the llama kamas.  I don’t compete anymore, but I still attend local tournaments and help out with the paperwork with my very best friend – the creator of the llama kamas – Thumper.


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