By way of background – I have kind of an obsession with the musical Wicked. Love, love, love it. I have the soundtrack, and know most of the songs by heart – and when I go see it, it’s very hard for me to not sing along. This story came about one day after watching the musical yet again (I think – it may have just been in my brain. Which is scary…And this might have been right after Prince passed away…). Thing 2 had to write a fairy tale, and he said it should be about “unicorns.” And this was born.
Where Did All the Unicorns Go?
Once upon a time, Unicorns roamed the earth. (Notice, they are Unicorns, not unicorns, because Unicorns can talk and unicorns cannot). There were so many Unicorns that humans were their servants. Unicorns lived in golden palaces and had vast amounts of money. Every four years, the Unicorns had a big party and watched their humans play lots of different sports. Today, we know these games as the Olympics, but back when Unicorns roamed the earth, these games were called the Unilympics. But as everyone knows, all good things must come to an end.
The most famous Unicorn of all was named UniLicious. He was the Unicorn with the shiniest horn. It was so shiny some said it was as bright as the sun. When the Unilympics would occur, UniLicious would light up the stadium so that everyone could see the humans as they competed against each other.
One year, there was a great debate about which Unicorn family would win the Unilympics. While UniLicious was known far and wide for his shiny horn, he didn’t really have very many human servants in his household. But he really wanted to be known for more than just his shiny horn. A friend of UniLicious, UniMazing, had great wealth and as a result, he could afford to pay many humans to compete for him. UniLicious decided to talk to UniMazing to see if they could combine their wealth and talents and become even more famous.
The other Unicorns discovered that UniLicious and UniMazing were working together, and they became jealous. Several Unicorn families got together and decided to talk to the Great Unicorn, UniTastic, who oversaw the rules of the Unilympics. Their main complaint was that if UniLicious and UniMazing were to work together, they would have an unfair advantage. Not only could UniLicious light up the stadium in his favor, UniMazing could afford to pay as many humans as he needed in order to win. So UniTastic decided to create some new ground rules, and he called together UniLicious, Unimazing, and all the other Unicorn families.
“Dearest friends. We are gathered here today to discuss what has become a very worrisome problem. Very worrisome, indeed,” he said to the Unicorns. “It has come to my attention that UniLicious and UniMazing are working together so that they can win the Unilympics. Other Unicorns are worried that this alliance will create an unfair advantage. I am open to hearing proposals about how we can make this fair.”
Several Unicorns began talking at once, and UniTastic had to quiet everyone down. “I have an idea,” he said. “If UniLicious and UniMazing win the Unilympics, as a united force, they will be required to cut off their horns. If they decide that they will compete the same as everyone else, they may keep their horns. It will be up to them to decide.” And everyone agreed.
The big day came – and the Unilympics were held in the United Stadium. UniLicious and UniMazing could not control their egos, and as a result, won the Unilympics. And UniTastic made them cut off their horns. But – the story does not end there. UniLicious and UniMazing were so popular and so well known, that it became “the cool thing” to cut off one’s horn – because it then looked like you had won the Unilympics. And so as time went by, all the Unicorns slowly cut off their horns, until there were no Unicorns left.
And that is where the Unicorns went.